Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Breaking News — Obama Resigns, Enlists in Peace Corps

Saying he is walking his talk, President Barack Obama has resigned from the Presidency, effective April 1, moved his family out of the White House and enlisted in the Peace Corps, circa 1969.

In response to the seemingly shocking transition to citizen volunteerism, pundits at CNN, Fox and MSNBC said they saw it coming and said they saw the foreshadowing on the wall when they detected a subtle secret code word slipped into all 70 of candidate Obama’s campaign paraphernalia: The word: CHANGE!

Fox News’ prime time heavyweight Bill O’Really responded to the surprise move, saying, “No surprise here. I simply applied one day for each of bumper stickers, yard signs and billboards and deduced that on day 70 of his term, Barack would simply pack his bags and join the Peace Corps or at least the Americorps. What else could he do?”

MSNBC’s Keith Uberman responded to the stunning move, stating, “Friedrich Nietzsch spelled it out for us on January 3, 1889 during what historical revisionists called a psychotic break. What really happened was Nietzsch simply had a vision just 24 years after the conclusion of the Civil War that in exactly 120 years, or 144 years from the end of the Civil War, a future global superpower with wings of eagles would see a freed slave elevated to lead that nation to embrace more changes in one month than the prior millennium, with no need to finish his term. Actually, it’s quite elementary!”

CNN’s Larry Bling said, “When I interviewed Barack and saw the way he eyeballed my suspenders, winking at me with that sly smile that he was saying he was about to suspend his campaign. After all, we know that 90% percent of all communication in nonverbal!”

But Enquiring-minded Americans, not content hearing hearsay from irrationally exuberant Lush Rimbaugh or Schlosh Hannity, and wanting to hear about the unprecedented move from the former President, locked arms across Pennsylvania Avenue, trapping the exiting Volkswagen Bus, forcing the former First Lady to stop the vehicle, allowing the populist former President to speak. Standing by the van, flashing a peace sign to the adoring crowds, Citizen Obama spoke but a single Orswellian word: “Rosebud.”

Happy April Fools Day :)

News release courtesy of Special Guests

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